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"Tessa!!" I hear my mom's voice call from downstairs. I groan to myself and roll out of my tiny, yet comfortable bed.  While neatly tucking the corners of my bed sheet into the headboard, I take my time because this is the last morning that I will be competing the task for months.

"Tessa!!" She calls again.

"I'm up!" I yell back. The cabinets open and close downstairs, the sounds of her frantically preparing  breakfast. The knot in my stomach grows with each step to the bathroom, by the time I start the shower, it's nearly unbearable. I spent the last few years nervously anticipating college. My weekends were spent studying and preparing for this day while my peers were out getting drunk, wasting their time and jeopardizing their futures. The day my acceptance letter to Washington State University came I was thrilled, I expected it but that didn't take any of the excitement away. My mother cried for what felt like hours, and I have to admit I was pretty proud of myself. All my hard work finally paid off. I had once considered leaving Washington for college but eventually decided against it.. I like familiarity and routines just like my mother.

The hot water loosens my strained muscles, how long have I been in here? I hurry and wash my hair and body, lazily running a razor over my legs to remove the small stubble that has appeared over the weekend.

As I wrap the towel around my wet body, my mother calls my name again. I ignore her, I know she is nervous for my arrival day at college but I have had this day planned down to the hour, for months. My boyfriend Noah will be here soon to ride with me and my mother. He is one grade younger than me and for hundredth time I mentally scold his mother for putting him in Kindergarten a year late. Noah keeps a perfect grade point average, he is brilliant and will be joining me at WSU next year. I do wish that  he was coming now, especially considering that I won't know a single person at college. I just need a decent roommate, that's the only thing I am asking for.


"I am coming down now, please don't call my name again!" I yell as I walk down the stairs.

Noah is sitting at the table across from my mother, dressed in a blue polo shirt and khakis, his normal attire.  His blonde hair is combed and lightly gelled to perfection.

"Hey college girl," He smiles a bright, perfectly lined smile while standing to pull my into a tight hug.

"Hey," I give him an equally bright smile and pull my dirty blonde hair into a bun once he releases me from his grip.

"Honey, we can wait a couple minutes while you fix your hair," My mom says quietly, running disapproving eyes over me.

I make my way to the mirror in the hallway and nod, she is right. My hair needs to be presentable for today, and of course she did not hesitate to remind me. She never does.

"I will put your bags in the car." Noah offers and picks up the keys from my the table. With a quick kiss on my cheek, he disappears from the room.

The butterflies in  my stomach dance around as I walk to the car, at least I have two hours to make them disappear. I have no idea what college will be like, will I make friends?


Hardin's hand moves to the back of my neck in a desperate attempt to be closer to me as we kiss. I can feel all of his anger and frustration being transferred into lust and affection, his mouth is hungry and his kisses sloppy as he walks backwards with our lips still attached. He guides me with one hand on my hip and behind my head, I trip over his feet and stumble just as his legs reach the end of his bed causing both of us to fall back onto the bed. In an attempt to take control from him, I straddle his torso and pull my sweatshirt and tank top over my head at the same time, leaving me in my lacey bra. His eyes widen and he tries to pull me down to kiss him but I have other plans. Reaching behind my back my rushed fingers find my bra clasp and I unsnap it before pulling the straps down my shoulders and letting the fabric hit the bed behind me. Hardin's hands are warm as he reaches up and cups my chest in his large palms, kneading them roughly. I grip his wrists and remove his hands from my skin and shake my head. His head tilts in confusion before I climb down his body and unbutton his pants. He helps me tug them down to his knees along with his boxers. My fingers immediately grip around his length, he gasps and when I look at his face his eyes are closed. I pump slowly before dipping down and bravely taking him into my mouth. I try to remember his instructions from last time and repeat the things that I know he liked.

"Fuck..Tessa. " He pants and wraps his hands into my hair. This is the longest he has been silent during any sexual experience we have shared and I realize much to my own amusement that I missed his dirty words.

I move my body while continuing to please him so that I am in between his knees as he sits up and watches me.

"You look so sexy like this, with that smart mouth of yours wrapped around me." He says and grips my hair harder.

I feel the heat gathering between my legs and move my head faster, wanting to hear him moan my name again. He lifts his hips slightly off of the bed pushing himself down my throat. My eyes begin to water and I can barely breath but hearing my name fall from his lips repeatedly makes it that much better. Seconds later, he removes his hands from my hair and cups my face, stopping me from moving further. The metallic scent of his bloody knuckles hits my nose but I ignore the reflex to pull away.

"I'm going to come.." He tells me. "So if there is anything else you.. you know want to do then you should stop blowing me." Oh.

I don't want to speak, to give away how desperate I am to have him make love to me, so I stand up and slide my jeans down my legs and step out of them. When I begin to remove my panties Hardin's hand reaches out and stops me.

"I want you to leave these on.. for now." He coos. I nod and gulp. Anticipation consuming me.

"Come here." He gestures and pulls his shirt over his head. He scoots to the edge of the bed and pulls me onto him.

Our feverish exchange in the beginning has slowed and the tension between us has significantly decreased. His chest is flushed and his eyes are wild. The feeling of sitting on his lap while he is completely naked and ready.. and I am only dressed in panties is exquisite. He holds the small of my back with one hand, the length of his outstretched hand firmly holds me in place and his lips meet mine once again.

"I love you." He whispers into my mouth as his fingers move my panties to the side.

"I you.." I gasp at the immediate pleasure of the intrusion.

He moves his fingers slowly, too slowly and I instinctively rock back and forth to create a faster pace.

"That's it baby..fuck.. You're always so ready for me." He groans and I continue to rock against his hand. My breathing and moans accelerate, it still surprises me how quickly my body responds to Hardin. He knows every little thing to do and say.  

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I rush out the back door to find Hardin. He has knocked over the patio table and is pacing back and forth on the deck with one hand balled into a fist at his side, and the other tugs at his thick hair.

I'm not sure how, or if  I can help the situation at all but I know I would rather be out here with Hardin than in the dining room after his outburst. I feel responsible for this whole mess because I agreed to come in the first place when Hardin didn't want to, now I see why.

Hardin spots me and sends me an annoyed glare and he turns away from me when I approach him.

"Hardin," I keep my voice gentle and low.

"Don't, Tessa." He warns. He's always warning me and I'm never listening. "I know what you're going to say. You're going to say that I need to go back in there and apologize to them and there is no way in hell that is happening so don't waste your breath! Why don't you just go back in there and enjoy your dinner and leave me the hell alone," he spits.

"I don't want to go back in there." Is all I can manage to say.

"Why not? You fit in perfectly with their prudish and boring fucking personalities."

Ouch. Why am I here again? Oh yea that's right, to be Hardin's punching bag.

"You know what?" I raise my voice. "Fine! I will leave, I don't know why I can't just stop trying with you!" I shout. I hope they can't hear me inside.

"I don't either! You just can't take a hint I guess." As the words leave his mouth, I feel the lump growing in my throat.

"The hint is well taken." I try to swallow the sting from his words but it's nearly impossible. I look up at Hardin and his cold eyes meet mine.

"That's it? That's your defense?" He laughs and shakes his hair.

"You don't deserve anymore of my time. You don't deserve for me to even speak to you, or those nice people in there to spend their time setting up this dinner to have you ruin it! That's what you do is ruin things, everything! And I'm done being one of those things." I yell.

Unwelcomed tears soak my face as Hardin steps towards me. I back away, my feet disagree and I fumble over them. Hardin's hand reaches out to steady me but I grab ahold of the railing instead. I don't want or need his help.

"You're right." he sounds exhausted.


"I know I am." I turn away from him again.

He snakes his hand around my wrist and pulls me to his chest. I lean into him without hesitation, I want to touch him so badly, but I know better. I can hear the heavy thump of my heart, rapid beneath my chest. I wonder if he can hear it, it seems impossible that he doesn't. Can he feel the pounding of my pulse under his grip? His eyes are full of anger and I know mine mirror his.

I have no warning before he crashes his lips down on mine, the force of his mouth is almost painful. His action is so full of desperation and hunger that I am lost. Lost in Hardin. Lost in the salty taste of my tears on both of our lips, lost in his fingers threaded through my hair. His hands move from my hair to my waist and he lifts me onto the railing of the deck. My legs part for him and he moves between them, never losing contact with my mouth. We are all heat and gasps, tangled in each other. My teeth graze over his bottom lip causing him to groan and pull me closer until my chest is flush with his.

The back door creaks open, breaking the spell. I'm horrified as Landon's soft eyes meet mine. His cheeks are flushed, and his eyes are wide in surprise. I push Hardin away from me and jump down from the rail, adjusting my dress as my feet hit the deck.

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I keep quiet as Hardin continues down the gravel road. He turns the music off finally so the only noise is the gravel crunching beneath the tires. We are out in the middle of nowhere. I am nervous now, we are alone, really alone. There are no cars, no buildings, nothing.

"Don't worry, I didn't bring you out here to kill you" he jokes and I gulp. I am more afraid of what I might do when alone with him than if he was to actually try to kill me.

He continues to drive for another mile and finally stops the car. I look out the window and see nothing but grass and trees. Granted, it is nice and serene out here. There are yellow wildflowers littering the land, and the breeze is perfectly warm. But why did he bring me here? "What are we going to do here?" I ask him as I climb out of the car.

"We have a bit of walking to do first" he informs me and I groan. So he took me here to exercise? He must notice my sour expression because he says, "Not too much walking" He begins walking along a part of the grass that is flattened, almost like a trial from being walked on many times.

We both stay quiet for most of the walk, except a few rude remarks from Hardin about me being too slow. I ignore him and take in my surroundings. I am beginning to understand why he likes this seemingly random place, it is so quiet. I could stay here forever as long as I brought a book with me. He turns off the trail and goes into a wooded area, I am a little suspicious but I follow. A few minutes later we emerge from the woods to a stream, or maybe a river, I have no idea where we are but the stream is quite big and looks pretty deep.

Hardin doesn't say anything as he pulls his shirt over his head then bends down to untie his dirty black boots. "Why are you undressing?" I ask and look at the stream. Oh  no. "You are going to swim? In that?" I say and point to the water.

"Yea, I do it all the time. You are too" he unbuttons his pants and I have to force myself to not stare at the way the muscles in his back move when he bends down to pull his pants through his legs.

"I am not swimming in that" I don't mind swimming, but not in a random stream in the middle of nowhere.

"And why is that? It's clean enough that you can see the bottom"

"So.. there are probably fish and god knows what in there" I realize how ridiculous I sound but I don't care. "Besides you didn't tell me we were going swimming so I have nothing to swim in" he can't argue with that.

"You're not wearing a bra and panties?" he smirks and I gape at him. So he thought I would come out here and take all my clothes off to swim with him? My insides stir as I think about being naked in the water with Hardin. What is he doing to me? I have never, ever had these types of thoughts before him.

"I am not swimming in my bra and panties you creep" I say and sit on the soft grass. "I will just watch" I tell him and he frowns. He is now only in his boxer briefs, the black material is tight against his body. This is the second time I have seen him in just his boxers and he looks even better this time.

"You are no fun. You're missing out" he says and jumps into the water. I keep my eyes on the grass and pluck a few blades out, playing with them between my fingers. "The water is warm Tess" Hardin calls from the stream. From my spot on the grass, I can see the drops of water falling from his now black hair. He is smiling as he pushes his soaked hair back and wipes his face off with one hand.

For a moment I find myself wishing I was someone else, someone braver, like Steph. If I was Steph, I would strip down and jump into the warm water with Hardin. I would splash around and climb up the bank just to jump back into the water. I would be fun and carefree. But I am not Steph, I am Tessa.

"This friendship is beyond boring so far" Hardin laughs and swims closer to the bank. I roll my eyes and he chuckles. "At least take your shoes off and put your feet in, it feels amazing and pretty soon it will be too cold to swim in"


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